No matter how old you are, there’s a good chance that the word “popular” immediately transports you back to your teenage years. Most of us can easily recall the adolescent social cliques, the high school pecking order, and which of our peers stood out as the most or the least popular teens we knew. Even as adults we all still remember exactly where we stood in the high school social hierarchy, and the powerful emotions associated with our status persist decades later. This may be for good reason.
Popular examines why popularity plays such a key role in our development and, ultimately, how it still influences our happiness and success today. In many ways—some even beyond our conscious awareness—those old dynamics of our youth continue to play out in every business meeting, every social gathering, in our personal relationships, and even how we raise our children. Our popularity even affects our DNA, our health, and our mortality in fascinating ways we never previously realized. More than childhood intelligence, family background, or prior psychological issues, research indicates that it’s how popular we were in our early years that predicts how successful and how happy we grow up to be.
But it’s not always the conventionally popular people who fare the best, for the simple reason that there is more than one type of popularity—and many of us still long for the wrong one. As children, we strive to be likable, which can offer real benefits not only on the playground but throughout our lives. In adolescence, though, a new form of popularity emerges, and we suddenly begin to care about status, power, influence, and notoriety—research indicates that this type of popularity hurts us more than we realize.
Realistically, we can’t ignore our natural human social impulses to be included and well-regarded by others, but we can learn how to manage those impulses in beneficial and gratifying ways. Popular relies on the latest research in psychology and neuroscience to help us make the wisest choices for ourselves and for our children, so we may all pursue more meaningful, satisfying, and rewarding relationships
An impulse pick up from the Express shelf at the library because I am slightly bemused and interested in people's quest for popularity, especially in the world of social media. I am fascinated by the world of so called Social Media Influencers and what it is they actually do. How can they think they are contributing to society just by having millions of social media likes and telling us what is "Hot or Not".
Well this book did not answer that question but it did give some good insight into the difference between popularity and likability. One can be popular without people liking you. One can be popular but not contributing positively to society.
He used some great Vignettes of real life experiences and how their "status" in school has shaped their lives to date. There was some advice about how you can change the shape of your life, but not really enough to make the changes. It was definitely a book that provoked thought and would be good to have a group discussion about (so please read it so I can discuss it with you if you are in my group of friends) but I don't think it is a life changing book.
I did not entirely agree with some of his thoughts and comments but remember that the authors schools were in America and mine were in Scotland (30 plus years ago) so there were big differences in our experiences and culture growing up.
My takeaway is to teach your child to be someone that people like rather than striving to be the most popular or having the most status. If they are likable now then they will have greater success in future.
No comments:
Post a Comment