Comfort Zone Challenge 1 - Hazel

Hazel

Most people don't know but I have always been exceedingly shy and socially awkward since I was a young child.  I have taught myself over the years how to, not get over it, but to fake it so that it is not apparent to the outside world.  They don't see the churning going on inside, the multiple conversations I practice in my head before having the actual conversation.  Or indeed, the finite analysis of a conversation after the fact I have to see if I could have done something wrong to offend someone, or trying to analyze what the other person thinks of me.

My husband will attest to the fact (which frustrates him no end) that I would rather wander around a store for 30 minutes looking for something that actually asking someone where it is, or that I hate phoning up to order takeout food because of my anxiety about talking to people on the phone.
This has been crippling at times in my life and has prevented me from doing some things but, at an early age, I knew that to be successful I had to do something about it.  So here comes "Fake it until I make it".  I have developed ways of dealing with this to save me time wandering the aisles although I have still not fully overcome it.  For Example, in Wegman's, I don't wander the aisles looking for something but I do look it up on their app rather than just asking someone.

Knowing all this, Marlene set me my first challenge.  To ask for help/favors from 5 people, 2 of which were strangers.  This nearly sent me into meltdown.  I thought of my friend group and knew that if I needed a favor I would just ask them for it.  Although I am a just work it out myself rather than ask for help kind of girl.  But the thought of asking strangers was TOTALLY outside my comfort zone.

A challenge is a challenge so I decided to ask real people for help when needed.  It started off slowly, some slight wandering in a shop and then asking for help.  I then realized that I needed to embrace the challenge fully.  So here comes Empowerment Friday.  I had a number of errands to run and decided that I would not work things out for myself but just ask other people.  I proceeded to march into one store and, literally, grabbed the first person working there and asked them where the thing I needed was.  Turns out they don't even stock the item and guided me instantly to a shop that does.  Time saved.  I then marched into several other places doing the same and instantly got help/direction.  I can't even begin to think how much time I saved.  It was quite empowering and made me realize how helpful people working in stores can actually be.  That they are not judging me for not knowing something or working it out for myself.

I know some people will not understand as they do not have social anxiety or shyness and will wonder what my problem is, but I am beginning to realize that either, their opinion does not matter to me, or that they really don't care either way.  And that is what I should start feeling about other people's opinions as well!  Who really cares what someone thinks of you, if you are content with who you are and what you do, then just live your life.