Marlene vs. The Pod

https://www.feelregenerated.com/pod

For most people headed into flotation therapy (formerly known as sensory deprivation) the experience promises to be one of relaxation and stress relief. 

That is unless your friend has challenged you (and your claustrophobic tendencies) to go into the experience full tilt. 

So, in part two of what has become affectionately known as the “Comfort Zone Challenge” I was to re-enter the pod and keep the lid shut and the lights off for the duration of the session. 

The previous flotation session I had modified to keep some of my senses active. For example, the lid was open and the lights were dimmed but on. I could close my eyes but with the lights on the sense of sight was still engaged. 

The most jarring part of the first experience was when I removed the sense of touch. Upon letting my hands leave the sides of the pod I immediately had a “state change.” I can only describe it as instantly feeling like a floating head. There was absolutely no sensation of having a body. I did NOT find this relaxing. Turns out I may be in a subset of folks who drift into hallucination rather easily. So you can be assured that the rest of the session I kept my hands firmly placed on the walls of the pod to avert “the floating head” syndrome. 

Upon debriefing my experience with Hazel, co-creator of the Comfort Zone Challenge, you may recall that she saw an opportunity for me to widen my comfort zone. And my new challenge was born... re-enter the POD lights off, lid closed.

And so I did.

It was perhaps one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my 48 years. Mission accomplished! 

I received some well meaning and somewhat useful coaching from the flotation center’s owner. One point was that by turning out the lights you can actually hack the sense of claustrophobia because without sight you really can’t perceive how tight a space it is. So I got into the pod as quickly as possible and shut off the lights and pulled the lid down. What ensued was ... how shall I put this ... terror. It was an intense minute or so of bone shaking fear. And, I was prepared for it. My plan was to visualize the pod from the outside ... seeing it from the outside perspective ... reminding me where I was despite being inside. I spent a few minutes with my preparatory visualizations and the fear, thankfully, subsided. My chattering slowed as did my heartbeat. I was in. I passed the first hurdle. 

I retained my sense of touch (arms outstretched, touching the sides) and my sense of hearing (groovy meditation music playing) and remained in the pod for roughly 45-50 minutes. The actual session was 60 minutes so I didn’t make it the whole way but was proud of my performance for the time that I was in there. 

I did turn off the sound for a bit to deepen the sensory deprivation experience (by this time I was feeling more confident) and stayed that way for a bit and then put the music back on.

One useful technique I used to take my attention off the fear was to ask myself, “What am I enjoying about this experience?” I noticed that my legs were feeling quite light and relaxed and I could say that I enjoyed that feeling. By breaking the experience down and prompting myself to look for what I WAS enjoying I could somewhat override the negative sensations. 

Post-pod reflections.

Why the heck did I do that!!!?? No, just kidding. I did it to expand the boundaries of my comfort zone. To give my body and mind a chance to assimilate new and uncomfortable experiences so that I could grow my confidence and how I relate to myself. You see, it turns out the pod was just a vehicle to practice expansion. And I did it safely, with a friend.

Additional observation to consider: I may be a bit of a control freak ... aka ... not willing to fully turn myself over to an experience. This is some new ground for me to explore as I don’t normally think of myself as needing control. Hmmm. There is always something to learn about oneself. Being a know it all is far too comfortable!

How will you expand your comfort zone?

Would love to hear about it.

Might it be the pod??? 

When Breath becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

At the age of thirty-six, on the verge of completing a decade's worth of training as a neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. One day he was a doctor treating the dying, and the next he was a patient struggling to live. And just like that, the future he and his wife had imagined evaporated. When Breath Becomes Air chronicles Kalanithi's transformation from a naïve medical student "possessed," as he wrote, "by the question of what, given that all organisms die, makes a virtuous and meaningful life" into a neurosurgeon at Stanford working in the brain, the most critical place for human identity, and finally into a patient and new father confronting his own mortality.

What makes life worth living in the face of death? What do you do when the future, no longer a ladder toward your goals in life, flattens out into a perpetual present? What does it mean to have a child, to nurture a new life as another fades away? These are some of the questions Kalanithi wrestles with in this profoundly moving, exquisitely observed memoir.

Paul Kalanithi died in March 2015, while working on this book, yet his words live on as a guide and a gift to us all. "I began to realize that coming face to face with my own mortality, in a sense, had changed nothing and everything," he wrote. "Seven words from Samuel Beckett began to repeat in my head: 'I can't go on. I'll go on.'" When Breath Becomes Air is an unforgettable, life-affirming reflection on the challenge of facing death and on the relationship between doctor and patient, from a brilliant writer who became both. 



I desperately want to be moved by and to love this book when it was assigned by my friend Stacey for our bookgroup read.  I opened it with enthusiasm and an open heart.  Sadly, that was quashed very quickly.  Paul Kalanithi was, obviously, a great, loving man who had a powerful love of life, and it was sad that it was taken away from him so suddenly and at such a young age.  His (short) life story did appear to be amazing and one is left wondering what he would have achieved had he lived.

However, I am not reviewing his life but the book of his life.  The best part of the book were the Foreward by Abraham Verghese and the Afterword by Mr Kalanithi's wife.  The reason for this was editing.  The book read exactly like an unedited manuscript.  a very rough first draft of notes he made before actually bringing them all together into a cohesive book  and then putting that book through an Editor to improve it even more.  Some people might like it better for that very rawness and roughness, but it irritated me to the point of not enjoying the read.

I think this is a love itor hate it book, no middle road.  Harsh but true.

The Rain Watcher by Tatiana De Rosnay

The Rain Watcher is a powerful family drama set in Paris as the Malegarde family gathers to celebrate the father's 70th birthday. Their hidden fears and secrets are slowly unraveled as the City of Light undergoes a stunning natural disaster. Seen through the eyes of charismatic photographer Linden Malegarde, the youngest son, all members of the family will have to fight to keep their unity against tragic circumstances.




I normally love this author but this whole book fell really flat for me.  It just felt so dreary, just like the weather it depicted in Paris.  It moved so slowly with just a hint of a twist coming.  It never really delivered and then ended most unsatisfactorily.  Not really sure what the point of the story was!

The Wife Between us by Greer Hendricks

When you read this book, you will make many assumptions.
You will assume you are reading about a jealous ex-wife.
You will assume she is obsessed with her replacement – a beautiful, younger woman who is about to marry the man they both love. 
You will assume you know the anatomy of this tangled love triangle.
Assume nothing. 

This book was fine on it's own although there were a lot of weaknesses in the plot. Those aside it would make an okay light beach read. However, I had just read the book "The Last Mrs Parrish" by Liv Constantine, which was almost the same story concept but written in a much better way and with a lot less weaknesses in the plot. Read this book if it is there but read The Last Mrs Parrish if you have the choice.

Shut the F*** up

If you thought we were done doing a Comfort Zone challenge after one, you clearly don't know me very well.

Allowing time for Spring Break, and for me to take notes and scheme, we just set each other our next challenge.

I admit, I was nervous as to what Marlene would set for me.  We recently had a conversation about my personal Comfort Zone after a comment from a friend that she didn't believe much in life was outside my comfort zone.  I knew Marlene was taking  mental note of that so I fully expected it to be something really challenging to "up the ante" and really push me.

Marlene and I never stop talking when we are together.  The deep and meaningful discussions we always have about everything and anything are one of the many things I cherish in my friendship with her.  So when she mentioned what my next challenge was going to be, I knew it would have to be with her to push me even more.

She challenged me to go on a 24 hour silent retreat but gave me the option of going alone, going with my husband or with her.  Going alone would have been a breeze for me as I am not one to strike up a conversation with a stranger anyway if I don't need to and am comfortable in my own silence.  Going with my husband would have been a bit of a challenge, how would I nag him if I had to be silent, lol!  Going with Marlene is going to be hard.  I knew I would be bursting to discuss things we see and the experience we were going through with her but having to wait 24 hours to do so would be challenging.

Giving it some thought I decided that it would be easier than I thought, just take a few good books and read the whole time, not so hard.  But then I stupidly asked Marlene for some parameters.   What could we bring, what we could do and if any level of communication was allowed, note passing etc.

NO BOOKS she said!!!  I kicked back at first and whined a little, I must admit as I am always reading when I can and couldn't stand the thought of missing the chance of all those quiet hours of reading.  Then I remembered the name of the challenge, The Comfort Zone Challenge, and realized that to really push that zone I would have to follow her rules.

I can journal, color, knit, meditate, prepare my meals, hike etc so have options.

Marlene went to visit the retreat to get a feel for it and sent me some pictures.

My comments on the pictures were "Looks lovely although it also looks like the set of a bad horror movie in the woods"!

Watch this space for how it goes in a few weeks.

Think about grabbing a friend of your own and challenging each other as well.

Not just a Giant Floating Head

So what do you do once you complete a comfort zone challenge with a friend?

You ask for another one, of course!

I mean, what could go wrong, am I right?

Hold my celery juice, Medical Medium! Maybe I should have thought this 

through a bit more.

If you are sensing some good-natured hesitation on my part then you 

sense correctly.

It’s only natural for version 2.0 to be of a steeper nature and so here 

we are. Hazel has been keeping a list of comfort zone challenges that 

would push me outside the familiar ... and she chose well because this 

one has me squirming way more than last time.

A little back story:

A few months back we tried flotation therapy (aka sensory deprivation 

tank). I didn’t anticipate it but it was a challenging experience for 

me. I wound up doing sensory deprivation “light” ... meaning I left the 

“lid” open and some light on. Closing the lid created an instant 

claustrophobic/panicky experience and since at the time ... there was no 

challenge involved... I just did it in a way I was comfortable.

Flash forward a few months later... we are debriefing the experience 

with our husbands over lunch. I made reference to my extreme discomfort 

at feeling like a “floating head” (no sense of touch, sound, light, etc. 

... you get the picture) and also being shut up inside something not 

totally dissimilar to a coffin. I most willingly admitted over lunch 

that I was indeed “afraid of dying” and this flotation tank definitely 

triggered that fear. Little did I know at the time that Hazel was 

listening VERY closely for the edges of my comfort zone. 😉

So, ladies and gents ... that’s my challenge. To re-enter the tank with 

lights off and lid closed - 100% for 45 minutes.

I considered declining the challenge because that is indeed an option 

however I realized that having some sort of breakthrough around this 

experience was actually of interest to me. I mean lowering the threshold 

of fear - that can be useful especially around the fear of dying since, 

well ... we all gotta do it at some point!

Hazel made a brilliant suggestion ... that if I did decline I ought to 

write a blog post about it to provide some sort of accountability. It 

was in thinking through the blog post that I came to the conclusion that 

there was MORE available to me in pushing through whatever the 

discomfort was than in writing the post. So here we are!

Round two - sensory deprivation tank - game on.

I am starting off by using a technique of altering my “language” around 

this experience. “The possibility that I might enjoy being in the tank.” 

By "re-wiring" my neurons around a new “story” I am hoping to open up 

the potential for new questions, inquiries and observations... and a new 

way of perceiving the entire experience.

I’ll be back to let you know how it goes! Support and encouragements 

welcome!

                

Medical Medium Liver Rescue by Anthony Williams

What if you could focus on one aspect of your well-being to transform all the others--and at the same time prevent health problems you didn't even know were lurking beneath the surface?

In today's world, we have no idea how many symptoms, conditions, and diseases are rooted in an overloaded liver. It's not only about liver cancer, cirrhosis, and hepatitis. Nearly every challenge--from pesky general health complaints to digestive issues to emotional struggles to weight gain to high blood pressure to heart problems to brain fog to skin conditions to autoimmune and other chronic illnesses--has an origin in an overloaded liver and can improve and heal when you harness the force of this humble organ.

Yes, I have jumped on the bandwagon and decide to see what the Medical Medium is all about. Myself and Marlene set this as our April Non Fiction book read challenge. There were some very good points made in this book and I certainly took away a lot of tips for improving by eating and fasting habits. He could have made the same points in half the time. Each chapter had a lot of repetition under different health issues but ultimately telling us the same thing. Will the people who need this the most actually read it, probably not as it gets a bit technical at times and, as mentioned above, is longwinded. Now to the author, I must say he came across, to me, as an unlikeable cocksure person. I do not believe and was disturbed by his claims of getting his information and guidance from a Spirit. It came across as rather preachy/Preacher at times and that everyone should believe him even without proof of his claims. I didn't like the tone he continually used to debunk Doctors, people who have spend years getting professional training unlike him who gets it from his Spirit! I do agree that Doctors are often too quick in prescribing a drug to "cure" an ailment when a change in diet or habits may have helped more but people need to be careful and make those changes under the care of their doctors. I am not a convert to his "cult" but can give him credit for some good ideas. If he toned it down a bit I would like him more but I guess that is his brand/gimmick.

Every Note Played by Lisa Genova

An accomplished concert pianist, Richard received standing ovations from audiences all over the world in awe of his rare combination of emotional resonance and flawless technique. Every finger of his hands was a finely calibrated instrument, dancing across the keys and striking each note with exacting precision. That was eight months ago. Richard now has ALS, and his entire right arm is paralyzed. His fingers are impotent, still, devoid of possibility. The loss of his hand feels like a death, a loss of true love, a divorce—his divorce. He knows his left arm will go next. Three years ago, Karina removed their framed wedding picture from the living room wall and hung a mirror there instead. But she still hasn’t moved on. Karina is paralyzed by excuses and fear, stuck in an unfulfilling life as a piano teacher, afraid to pursue the path she abandoned as a young woman, blaming Richard and their failed marriage for all of it. When Richard becomes increasingly paralyzed and is no longer able to live on his own, Karina becomes his reluctant caretaker. As Richard’s muscles, voice, and breath fade, both he and Karina try to reconcile their past before it’s too late. This was a hard book to read for me. Not because it was bad but just because of the subject matter. While my father din't have ALS but had several bad strokes, it still felt too close to home for me. I could feel the emotions of him losing the ability to use his body, which was particularly hard for a world renowned pianist. The emotions of the people around him felt very real as well. The frustrations and helplessness of seeing someone you love becoming more and more dependent on you. Yes the book did follow the authors usual pattern but was one of her better stories. If you haven't heard the piano pieces mentioned throughout the book, please look them up on Youtube as they are amazing. I could never play Rachmaninov in my playing days so am always impressed by people who can. Apparently, he had strangely large hands which made it possible for him to stretch his fingers wider than the average person, hence allowing him to play and compose his pieces. Particularly look up Ravel's Piano Concerto for the left hand  and watch the full video. It is an amazing work of art.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJTUUKAdZDU&t=2s

Comfort Zone Challenge 1 - Marlene

Marlene

“Life begins outside your comfort zone.” A quote I’ve heard through the years. If we always do what we know ... we don’t learn/grow. This premise is at the heart of coaching and I regularly challenge/encourage my clients to push the edges of their comfort zone - giving them greater capacity and confidence in life. So when Hazel suggested that we challenge one another to do something uncomfortable ... how could I, in good conscience, say anything other than ... yes?!

Trusting the other person I would say is key in this type of exercise. Someone who has your best interests at heart and has an idea of what stops you in life. 

I admit I was a little nervous to find out what my comfort zone challenge was ... so in retrospect... even agreeing to this type of thing was outside my CZ! It was also a bit challenging to come up with something ... trying to find something meaningful but with a sufficient gradient to make it worthwhile.

I was challenged by Hazel to attend a jiu jitsu class that I had never attended before. I had been avoiding trying it even though I had been invited by instructors, friends and even my husband who is a devotee and attends regularly. My “reason” was not wanting to risk injury but upon closer inspection I would say it was partly that and partly not wanting to “look bad.” Things like borrowing a gi, looking stupid and being a beginner were all outside what was comfortable. 

This was interesting to me because until I was challenged to do it ... I didn’t realize how much of my resistance was based around fear of looking bad. I was just generally avoiding it and going about my business. 

One surprising outcome of doing this was how HAPPY it seemed to make my husband. He had our picture taken in our gi’s and promptly printed and displayed it. I had no idea to expect that although Hazel said that actually played a role in her selecting my challenge.

Synopsis: Do this with a friend who is committed to growth and who knows you well. Pick something that would stretch them ... but not break them. Baby steps - outside one’s the comfort zone - can yield BIG results. We will likely try this again and perhaps up the gradient! 

Comfort Zone Challenge 1 - Hazel

Hazel

Most people don't know but I have always been exceedingly shy and socially awkward since I was a young child.  I have taught myself over the years how to, not get over it, but to fake it so that it is not apparent to the outside world.  They don't see the churning going on inside, the multiple conversations I practice in my head before having the actual conversation.  Or indeed, the finite analysis of a conversation after the fact I have to see if I could have done something wrong to offend someone, or trying to analyze what the other person thinks of me.

My husband will attest to the fact (which frustrates him no end) that I would rather wander around a store for 30 minutes looking for something that actually asking someone where it is, or that I hate phoning up to order takeout food because of my anxiety about talking to people on the phone.
This has been crippling at times in my life and has prevented me from doing some things but, at an early age, I knew that to be successful I had to do something about it.  So here comes "Fake it until I make it".  I have developed ways of dealing with this to save me time wandering the aisles although I have still not fully overcome it.  For Example, in Wegman's, I don't wander the aisles looking for something but I do look it up on their app rather than just asking someone.

Knowing all this, Marlene set me my first challenge.  To ask for help/favors from 5 people, 2 of which were strangers.  This nearly sent me into meltdown.  I thought of my friend group and knew that if I needed a favor I would just ask them for it.  Although I am a just work it out myself rather than ask for help kind of girl.  But the thought of asking strangers was TOTALLY outside my comfort zone.

A challenge is a challenge so I decided to ask real people for help when needed.  It started off slowly, some slight wandering in a shop and then asking for help.  I then realized that I needed to embrace the challenge fully.  So here comes Empowerment Friday.  I had a number of errands to run and decided that I would not work things out for myself but just ask other people.  I proceeded to march into one store and, literally, grabbed the first person working there and asked them where the thing I needed was.  Turns out they don't even stock the item and guided me instantly to a shop that does.  Time saved.  I then marched into several other places doing the same and instantly got help/direction.  I can't even begin to think how much time I saved.  It was quite empowering and made me realize how helpful people working in stores can actually be.  That they are not judging me for not knowing something or working it out for myself.

I know some people will not understand as they do not have social anxiety or shyness and will wonder what my problem is, but I am beginning to realize that either, their opinion does not matter to me, or that they really don't care either way.  And that is what I should start feeling about other people's opinions as well!  Who really cares what someone thinks of you, if you are content with who you are and what you do, then just live your life.

Comfort Zone Challenge

We both just turned 48 and have been having many discussions about keeping active and alert as we age.   Physically we know what to do and we exercise fairly regularly but how do we exercise our mind.  I use some apps on my phone for that purpose. Lumosity is one that I find fun but we wanted to take it to the next level.

This article inspired us.

https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthy-aging/what-does-it-take-to-be-a-super-ager?fbclid=IwAR1Kj-jbUz5Xt8cp9OfXo18oNthDVVywFcxy-czeE0Za6dn5vcq7N71KDSw

It basically says that research suggests that moving out of your comfort zone is the key to staying mentally and physically young.

What it has inspired us to do is to set each other challenges that take us outside our comfort zone.  Everyone has a different comfort zone and that is no different for myself and Marlene.  For example, I don't mind heights and extreme activities while Marlene is much less keen on them.  She is a naturally friendly, outgoing person who does not mind talking to strangers, while I go out my way to avoid speaking to people.

We know each other pretty well so it should be easy to challenge each other in a friendly way.  We will share our challenges on this blog over the next few weeks, so watch this space for some fun and reflections.

Pieces of Her by Karin Slaughter

What if the person you thought you knew best turns out to be someone you never knew at all . . . ?

Andrea Cooper knows everything about her mother, Laura. She knows she’s spent her whole life in the small beachside town of Belle Isle; she knows she’s never wanted anything more than to live a quiet life as a pillar of the community; she knows she’s never kept a secret in her life. Because we all know our mothers, don’t we?

But all that changes when a trip to the mall explodes into violence and Andrea suddenly sees a completely different side to Laura. Because it turns out that before Laura was Laura, she was someone completely different. For nearly thirty years she’s been hiding from her previous identity, lying low in the hope that no one would ever find her. But now she’s been exposed, and nothing will ever be the same again.

The police want answers and Laura’s innocence is on the line, but she won’t speak to anyone, including her own daughter. Andrea is on a desperate journey following the breadcrumb trail of her mother’s past. And if she can’t uncover the secrets hidden there, there may be no future for either one of them. . . . 


Somewhat disappointed in this novel.  Another of my favorite authors just did not deliver this time.  The story was not written fluently and jumped about in a way that dud not make it easy to read of follow.  I think it would have benefited by being written in 2 parts, like the book "The Last Mrs Parrish", telling the story in two separate parts, one time zone and then the other, rather than trying to jump back and forward.

The insertion of some convenient characters did not help either as they were, obviously, there to lead us down one storyline path but just ended up confusing the story and giving me more questions.

The overall concept was good but, knowing how well this author can write, I was not a fan.

Popular: The Power of Likability in a Status-Obsessed World by Mitch Prinstein

No matter how old you are, there’s a good chance that the word “popular” immediately transports you back to your teenage years. Most of us can easily recall the adolescent social cliques, the high school pecking order, and which of our peers stood out as the most or the least popular teens we knew. Even as adults we all still remember exactly where we stood in the high school social hierarchy, and the powerful emotions associated with our status persist decades later. This may be for good reason.

Popular examines why popularity plays such a key role in our development and, ultimately, how it still influences our happiness and success today. In many ways—some even beyond our conscious awareness—those old dynamics of our youth continue to play out in every business meeting, every social gathering, in our personal relationships, and even how we raise our children. Our popularity even affects our DNA, our health, and our mortality in fascinating ways we never previously realized. More than childhood intelligence, family background, or prior psychological issues, research indicates that it’s how popular we were in our early years that predicts how successful and how happy we grow up to be.

But it’s not always the conventionally popular people who fare the best, for the simple reason that there is more than one type of popularity—and many of us still long for the wrong one. As children, we strive to be likable, which can offer real benefits not only on the playground but throughout our lives. In adolescence, though, a new form of popularity emerges, and we suddenly begin to care about status, power, influence, and notoriety—research indicates that this type of popularity hurts us more than we realize.

Realistically, we can’t ignore our natural human social impulses to be included and well-regarded by others, but we can learn how to manage those impulses in beneficial and gratifying ways. Popular relies on the latest research in psychology and neuroscience to help us make the wisest choices for ourselves and for our children, so we may all pursue more meaningful, satisfying, and rewarding relationships


An impulse pick up from the Express shelf at the library because I am slightly bemused and interested in people's quest for popularity, especially in the world of social media. I am fascinated by the world of so called Social Media Influencers and what it is they actually do. How can they think they are contributing to society just by having millions of social media likes and telling us what is "Hot or Not".

Well this book did not answer that question but it did give some good insight into the difference between popularity and likability. One can be popular without people liking you. One can be popular but not contributing positively to society. 

He used some great Vignettes of real life experiences and how their "status" in school has shaped their lives to date. There was some advice about how you can change the shape of your life, but not really enough to make the changes. It was definitely a book that provoked thought and would be good to have a group discussion about (so please read it so I can discuss it with you if you are in my group of friends) but I don't think it is a life changing book.

I did not entirely agree with some of his thoughts and comments but remember that the authors schools were in America and mine were in Scotland (30 plus years ago) so there were big differences in our experiences and culture growing up.

My takeaway is to teach your child to be someone that people like rather than striving to be the most popular or having the most status. If they are likable now then they will have greater success in future.

Elevation by Stephen King

The latest from legendary master storyteller Stephen King, a riveting, extraordinarily eerie, and moving story about a man whose mysterious affliction brings a small town together—a timely, upbeat tale about finding common ground despite deep-rooted differences.

Although Scott Carey doesn’t look any different, he’s been steadily losing weight. There are a couple of other odd things, too. He weighs the same in his clothes and out of them, no matter how heavy they are. Scott doesn’t want to be poked and prodded. He mostly just wants someone else to know, and he trusts Doctor Bob Ellis.

In the small town of Castle Rock, the setting of many of King’s most iconic stories, Scott is engaged in a low grade—but escalating—battle with the lesbians next door whose dog regularly drops his business on Scott’s lawn. One of the women is friendly; the other, cold as ice. Both are trying to launch a new restaurant, but the people of Castle Rock want no part of a gay married couple, and the place is in trouble. When Scott finally understands the prejudices they face–including his own—he tries to help. Unlikely alliances, the annual foot race, and the mystery of Scott’s affliction bring out the best in people who have indulged the worst in themselves and others.




Cute little novella by Stephen King. Overall, I thought he developed the characters quite well for a short story.

The premise of the story was his usual Stephen King weirdness.

I was left unsatisfied by having no explanation of what caused the weight loss. I feel that in King books there is usually at least some explanation for the weird occurances in them, even if that explanation is not wholly believable at times, at least it is there. 

I also, was not sure of the underlying point of the story. I normally get some moral or ethical point underlying King stories but I must have missed it on this one. 

Clearly, it is worth a read if you are a Stephen King fan but I wouldn't suggest it to anyone not familiar with his work (if anyone still exists).

The Third Wife - Lisa Jewell

In the early hours of a summer morning, a young woman steps into the path of an oncoming bus. A tragic accident? Or suicide?

At the center of this puzzle is Adrian Wolfe, a successful architect and grief-stricken widower, who, a year after his third wife’s death, begins to investigate the cause. As Adrian looks back on their brief but seemingly happy marriage, disturbing secrets begin to surface. The divorces from his two previous wives had been amicable, or so it seemed; his children, all five of them, were resilient as ever, or so he thought. But something, or someone, must have pushed Maya over the edge…



I was excited to start this book by an author that I really like.  It started well telling the story of Adrian and his mixed bag of family from 3 wives.  It focused on his current situation and the story leading up to the suspicious death of his 3rd wife.

I wasn't enamoured with the central character, Adrian, and didn't get the attraction all these women felt for him nor the loyalty they all still had for him.  The paths of suspicion that the author tried to lead us down were quite interesting, but the most interesting ones were just red herrings to plump out the story a bit.

I was not satisfied with the explanation of Maya's death as many aspects of the story just did not add up.

Don't let my review put you off this author as a whole, just pick a different one of her books to read. 2 out of 5.

Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel H. Pink

Forget everything you thought you knew about how to motivate people—at work, at school, at home. It's wrong. As Daniel H. Pink (author of To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Motivating Others) explains in his paradigm-shattering book Drive, the secret to high performance and satisfaction in today's world is the deeply human need to direct our own lives, to learn and create new things, and to do better by ourselves and our world.

Drawing on four decades of scientific research on human motivation, Pink exposes the mismatch between what science knows and what business does—and how that affects every aspect of our lives. He demonstrates that while the old-fashioned carrot-and-stick approach worked successfully in the 20th century, it's precisely the wrong way to motivate people for today's challenges. In Drive, he reveals the three elements of true motivation:

*Autonomy—the desire to direct our own lives
*Mastery—the urge to get better and better at something that matters
*Purpose—the yearning to do what we do in the service of something larger than ourselves

Along the way, he takes us to companies that are enlisting new approaches to motivation and introduces us to the scientists and entrepreneurs who are pointing a bold way forward.



This has been lying around in my house for months.  My husband brought it in and left it out to read but hadn't gotten around to reading it yet.  With my 2019 promise to myself to read more non-fiction books, I decided to pick it up and give it a go.

I was also, motivated by my struggle to motivate my child in various activities.  She lacks drive, ambition and a competitive spirit.  While she is good at most things, she doesn't seem to want to strive to win or be the best at anything.  I have been trying to motivate her with the traditional carrot and stick approach that this book has now debunked.

It is an interesting read that did teach me something new, while I don't totally agree with all his thoughts I believe that I can use his general ideas to help me to motivate my child.  I would have given it 2 stars if I had read this 10 years ago, as I was very much motivated by the carrot and stick approach and nothing else would have helped me but I think it has a lot more place in this day and age and with the new generation of people (millenials etc) coming into the workplace.

 I only gave it 3 out of 5 stars because he labored his point a bit.  He could have got the same point across in a short essay r magazine article, so a lot of the book was repeating and laboring the same point over and over, but not in different ways.   It is a worth a read, even if you just read the summary at the end.

I have started to try and use some new ways of motivation with my child and I think it is starting to work although it is too early to tell.  Hey, I might update this review later if I have a major breakthrough.

Then she was gone by Lisa Jewell

THEN
She was fifteen, her mother's golden girl. She had her whole life ahead of her. And then, in the blink of an eye, Ellie was gone. 

NOW 
It’s been ten years since Ellie disappeared, but Laurel has never given up hope of finding her daughter.

And then one day a charming and charismatic stranger called Floyd walks into a café and sweeps Laurel off her feet. 

Before too long she’s staying the night at this house and being introduced to his nine year old daughter. 

Poppy is precocious and pretty - and meeting her completely takes Laurel's breath away. 

Because Poppy is the spitting image of Ellie when she was that age. And now all those unanswered questions that have haunted Laurel come flooding back. 

What happened to Ellie? Where did she go? 

Who still has secrets to hide?

I really do like this authors style of writing. She really develops the characters quickly and gets on with the story. She is also great at jumping back and forwards in time without you losing track of what is going on. Yes, her books are somewhat formulaic, but if you want a simple but compelling psychologic thriller then she is a good pick.

In this particular story, it was easy to guess the main twist, although you couldn't guess the full details of it. The author threw down her usual little crumbs of information leading you in the main direction of the plot line but then inserted an extra twist that you couldn't see coming and which made the story more interesting.

Having a daughter going missing just chilled my heart as it is my worst nightmare. Not sure the significance of the hamsters or how they added to the story, apart from drawing attention to the basement room and hinting of something bizarre happening there.

I did just give it 3 stars because I wouldn't say you have to rush out immediately and read it. It would be a great read for vacation or while traveling where you don't want something too fluffy but don't want to have to follow an overly complex plot.

Death by Meeting: A Leadership Fable...about Solving the Most Painful Problem in Business by Patrick Lencioni

Death by Meeting: A Leadership Fable...about Solving the Most Painful Problem in Business

by 

Patrick Lencioni

Casey McDaniel, the founder and CEO of Yip Software, is in the midst of a problem he created, but one he doesn't know how to solve. And he doesn't know where or who to turn to for advice. His staff can't help him; they're as dumbfounded as he is by their tortuous meetings.

Then an unlikely advisor, Will Peterson, enters Casey's world. When he proposes an unconventional, even radical, approach to solving the meeting problem, Casey is just desperate enough to listen.

What an engaging way to get a rather dull topic across. This book started with a Fable which read like a short Fiction book. It was engaging and the characters were well developed for such little writing. It was a unique way to get a short and simple idea across to the reader. I hardly noticed I was reading a business book or that I was actually learning something. The summary at the end was short and sweetly to the point. Was it mind blowing to me, well no, as I kinda knew most of the information anyway from my past career experience but I think it would be a great help to many and such a quick, simple read.

Adventures in Alternative Therapies - Cryotherapy

Hi there, this is our first blog post sharing our experiences with testing out some alternative therapies.  Our first experiment was in the health benefits of Cryotherapy.

What is Cryotherapy:

Originating in Japan in 1978, cryotherapy was first used by Dr. Toshima Yamauchi to treat joint pain from rheumatoid arthritis.

Using a brief exposure of the body (3 minutes) to ultra-low temperatures (approx. minus 190 F, although at one point it registered at minus 220 F), cryotherapy quickly became known as a powerful treatment for inflammatory disorders and injuries.  Whole body cryotherapy has gained popularity worldwide as top athletes and celebrities account for what they believe are its many benefits and uses.

Some centers make claims about weight loss and curing illnesses but the more ethical ones claim 3 main benefits.

Recovery

Just like the ice bath that professional athletes use after an extreme workout, cryotherapy reduces inflammation, for quicker muscle recovery and decreased muscle soreness.

Rejuvenation

It increases the body's metabolic rate and collagen production, stimulating higher energy levels and a sense of well being.  Over time and with regular use, an improvement in mood, sleep patterns and skin tone have been noted.

Relief

It is supposed to offer relief from chronic pain.  Specifically from inflammation-related diseases and skin disorders, or for quicker healing post injury or surgery.

So those are the claims for it, let's get onto our experience.

What it was actually like

It was quite ironic that the day we had booked our cryo appointment was the coldest day of the year so far.  It was also a snow day where schools had been cancelled and the kids were at home.  We didn't want to cancel as we had been looking forward to it, so we loaded up our 8 and 9 year old girls and off we went.  If anything, it was going to be an experience for them as well seeing the cryo chamber at work.   By the looks on their faces, I think they thought their mums had lost their mind.

We were welcomed into Capital Cryo in Bethesda, MD by the lovely assistant.

You then get stripped down to your underwear and are given a fluffy bathrobe, white socks and grandma slippers to wear.  You are also instructed to remove any jewelry and to make sure that there is no exposed metal on your skin, which could cause a "burn".  As it was our first time as well we were given ski-gloves and told to keep our hands and arms out of the cryo chamber.  This is because it is a much more intense experience if you put your arms in.

Marlene chose to go first (and I am glad she did).  She climbed into the chamber, she just made the minimum height restriction to go in, they raise and lower a platform inside dependent on your height.

 And so it began!  

The assistant talked throughout to keep her distracted while Marlene asked about the feelings she was experiencing.  It came down to a prickling or tingling in the legs mainly which intensified as the 3 minutes went on.

I went in second and was glad that Marlene had verbalized the feelings as I knew what to expect and felt fairly relaxed for my first time.  It was strange, you didn't feel cold, per se, but it was like the nerve endings in our skin had a heightened sense of feeling and the hair follicles felt "activated".  The three minutes went by quite quickly and it did help that there was a timer counting down so you could see how much time you had left.

I came out feeling a bit dubious as to how that simple experience could reap all the health benefits it claims.

Fast forward to that night.  My metabolism was super charged.  My body was radiating heat like a furnace all night long, which is great for weight loss but didn't do wonders for my sleep patterns.

I definitely experienced some relief from the back pain I have all the time and, get this, after 3 days I had lost 5lbs in weight!

Marlene also noted a 24-hour relief from any aches and pains as well as feeling more energized and having a good night's sleep. Perhaps this came from the adrenaline rush afterwards, as explained by the attendant, that accounts for the increase in energy afterwards and the supposed good night's sleep.

Obviously, the more times you do it the better results are expected. So, 2 weeks after our first treatment we had a follow up appointment booked (there was a special offer of 2 appointments for the price of one at $60).  Again, it was the next coldest day of the year that day as well, and the schools had a 2 hour delay due to snow conditions but we changed the time of our appointment and went once we had packed the girls off to school.

This time we both decided to try hands and arms in  I wanted to do this for 2 reasons, one to get the full experience and 2 to allow my sore left shoulder to gain the benefits of the treatment.  I went first and I felt very comfortable and more relaxed this time.  So relaxed that we managed to shoot a little promotional video.

https://www.facebook.com/hazel.keating.1/videos/10156920230038745/

Marlene on the other hand, looked more uncomfortable and seemed to be shivering a lot more than before.  She later attributed this to having had a poor night's sleep the night before.  Apparently, lack of sleep can affect one's ability to tolerate cold temperatures.

Overall, while I am still skeptical about the health claims, I found it a good experience and it would be worth getting a session of treatments if you really had a chronically painful condition.

There are some really good articles out there about this therapy.  Do some browsing and then see if it is for you.  Don't be scared of it, it really was not that uncomfortable.  You can do anything for 3 minutes, right!

On a more fun note they offer Champagne and Chill evenings, where for $75 per person you get a Whole Body sessions, mini-facial, bottomless Champagne (sold) and healthy Hors D'ouvres.  So get a group of your girlfriends together and go have some fun, a bit of a change from bookclub!

Any questions, post in the comments.

I Will Never Leave You by S.M. Thayer

For one couple, getting what they want comes at a devastating price in this gripping debut thriller.

Banking heiress Trish and her husband, James, seem to have it all, from a lavish lifestyle to a historic mansion in the nation’s capital. The only thing that’s missing to make their family complete is a baby, so when Trish holds Anne Elise in her arms for the first time, it’s no surprise that she falls deeply in love. There’s just one problem: Trish isn’t the mother.

The baby belongs to Laurel, James’s young mistress. And more than that, James and Laurel want to start a new life together—despite an ironclad prenup standing in their way. When Trish becomes dangerously obsessed with making Laurel’s baby her own, the lovers’ plan to break James’s marriage quickly goes awry. How far is each of them willing to go for happiness?


This was a totally random pick for me off the Express Shelf at the library. It was a case of judging a book by it's cover and then seeing that it was set in Washington DC and surrounding area (my local area) I was thrilled to start reading it.

Loved all the local landmark and area references, which helped me visualize the story line and characters a lot better.

I thought the story started off really well and really kept me reading and wondering where it was heading. A couple of heart in mouth moments wondering what a character had done. I felt sympathy for most of the characters, yes even James, at times.

What did I find unbelievable? The security at Sibley Hospital. I gave birth there and I know what it took to see my own baby after a stint in ICU, so it was not believable that a security band would be handed out quite so easily, or that cameras were not working. This is an expensive, private hospital! Also, the lack of urgency and anger over a missing baby did not ring true with me. Even in a fever ridden state, I felt Laurel and James would have made more of a fuss over it.

I did not like the twist at the end with Trish's Father (will not put a spoiler in here describing it) as I felt it was just a strange way for the story to go.

It was a fine enough read, probably best suited for a plane ride or a beach than a serious read at home. Despite only 3 stars, I would read other books by the author. 

China Rich Girlfriend

It’s the eve of Rachel Chu’s wedding, and she should be over the moon. She has a flawless Asscher-cut diamond, a wedding dress she loves, and a fiancé willing to thwart his meddling relatives and give up one of the biggest fortunes in Asia in order to marry her. Still, Rachel mourns the fact that her birthfather, a man she never knew, won’t be there to walk her down the aisle.  

Then a chance accident reveals his identity. Suddenly, Rachel is drawn into a dizzying world of Shanghai splendor, a world where people attend church in a penthouse, where exotic cars race down the boulevard, and where people aren’t just crazy rich … they’re China rich.

I picked this book to read after I enjoyed the movie "Crazy Rich Asians". This is the 2nd book in that series and, due to the success of the 1st movie, I have no doubt they will make a second. Was it a good book, no. It was full of ideas but was all over the place trying to cover all the ideas. Pick a main storyline and develop it more. Use less characters and give them some depth. Astrid's story was interesting and could have been a deep book in it's own right. Kitty's story as well had so much potential but was just a comedy sketch on the side. Even Rachel and Nick were just turned into side characters giving a reason for all the other characters to come together. 

I know the concept of this book is not about depth of character but how shallow the "crazy rich" actually are but you could still make it into a better book. Will it be a good film, I am sure it will be with the right budget. It will be crazy and colorful and a great girls night out movie. 

No need to read the book to enjoy the movie, so save your time.